Simon closed his eyes a moment before opening them long enough to say, “Get me to Rutherhouse. That’s my only chance now.”
“Rutherhouse?”
“Bring Kes.”
Gabe shook his head. “Absolutely not. Not after what she did.”
He waited for a response, but Simon had fallen back into unconsciousness.
“Will he survive?” I asked.
Gabe’s glare could’ve melted iron. “Well, I don’t know, but how kind you are to ask. I’ll put Simon on my horse, and I’m going to ride fast. If you can’t follow, I’ll leave you behind and never look to see if you’re there. I’m only offering this much because Simon wants it.”
I’d freed myself, but Simon was still far from safe, and I couldn’t rest until I knew he’d recover.
He had to recover from this. He had to. Because if he didn’t …
Tears filled my eyes and I quickly packed up our supplies and tied them to the same horse that Simon and I had shared last night.
If he didn’t recover, I’d become what Lord Endrick had wanted me to be in that dream. And for the
first time I could remember in my life, I wanted to be as far from the Dominion as possible.
With my help, Gabe lifted Simon onto his horse, though anyone who saw them would think Gabe was carrying an already dead body. Simon was laid over the saddle facedown with his arms flopped over his head.
“Don’t look at him like that,” Gabe said, scowling at me.
“Like what?”
“Like you had nothing to do with the reason he’s unconscious. Get on your horse.”
I climbed up on the horse Simon had been riding, gave it a pat on one side, then shook the reins the way Simon had done. Nothing happened at first, but when Gabe’s mount trotted out, my horse followed of its own accord. Gabe glanced back at me then picked up his pace. Fortunately, by now, I’d developed a feel for riding. It came as naturally to me as if …
As if I’d done this many times before.
I mulled that while keeping within easy sight of Gabe. I knew he’d have questions for me, and whatever I said, he’d twist my words faster than I could defend myself.
Though if Simon died, I’d have no defense. I wouldn’t even try.
The problem was that I had questions for Gabe too. I caught up with him and asked, “What happens when Trina gets to that camp?”
“She’ll probably regroup with Wynnow and the other Coracks searching for you. That’ll buy us some time.”
“Does Trina know about Rutherhouse? Will she lead the Coracks there?”
“I don’t know. I should take Simon to the Coracks. Loelle could save him, but again, everything has to revolve around you, doesn’t it?”
“He asked you to take him to Rutherhouse. I didn’t.”
“Because it’s safer there for you, not for him!” Gabe rode faster, then shook his head and slowed again enough to ask, “Do you remember Celia?”
Celia? There was nobody in my life with that name … that I remembered.
“She was your handmaiden for a while, until you drove her so insane that she joined the Coracks. She told me once that being difficult was woven into every fiber of your existence. That you never chose to be a problem for everyone around you, but you didn’t have the choice to be any other way. She told me there was no difference between being Kestra and being a problem.”
I didn’t know how to respond to that, or if I was supposed to respond to that. So I modified my original question. “Last night, you said that you didn’t care what I was supposed to do for Antora. What am I supposed to do, Gabe?”
“As you are, there’s nothing you can do for us. I hate to say it, but maybe we should’ve let the Halderians take you yesterday.”