I turned. My head was suddenly throbbing, making me rub my temples as if that could cure it. Tell her, tell her, tell her, but I couldn’t. I knew I couldn’t. “I’m fine, Mia.”
“Okay, but just know the offer is there. I can tell something’s up. Darren can too, but he won’t mention it. Some kind of bro code. Men are weird. There’s nothing wrong with talking about your feelings, ya know? It’s healthy.”
I snickered softly. “Thanks. I appreciate that. I’m good, though.”
She gave a dramatic sigh. “Should we dance, then?”
I smiled. “Yeah, sure.”
I took Mia’s arm, and we walked to the dance floor together. I pulled her close, moved with her, and forced myself not to look for West. I would have him for two whole weeks after this.
“Why me?” I found myself asking.
“Outside the fact that you’re gorgeous?” she asked, and I laughed again. “You’re a good person. There isn’t anything you wouldn’t do for those you care about. You’re funny and kind. Why not you?”
My skin began to tingle, warmth spreading through me, but not because of what Mia had said. I glanced up, and my eyes locked on West. He was dancing with Brandon again. Our gazes held, but we continued to move, eventually giving each other our backs. “You’re great, you know that?” I told Mia, but then we turned again, and West and I watched each other.
It was him I wanted…him I loved.
“It’s okay, Ans. I didn’t see it before, but it all makes so much sense now. I don’t know how I didn’t realize. Whoever he is, he hasn’t taken his eyes off you.”
I stiffened, nearly stumbled over my own feet—or hers, I wasn’t even sure which. The lie was right there, waiting at the end of my tongue. All I had to do was open my mouth, and it would tumble out, but I didn’t.
“This is big, Anson,” Mia said.
“I know. I can’t… I don’t…” Lie, lie, lie. It would be so easy, but she wouldn’t believe me, she would know, and that almost felt…good. I was so damn tired already.
“I understand your hesitance. I love and respect you too much to sugarcoat it.”
I looked at West…yearned…craved.
“Does Darren know?”
“No,” I rushed out. “Please don’t.”
“I won’t, but he loves you, Anson. You know that won’t change, right?”
I didn’t respond.
Her mouth was close to my ear, her voice low. “Jesus, the way he looks at you. He’s eating you alive, and I think he wants me to die a slow, painful death.”
Surprisingly, my chest felt light…lighter than I thought it would when someone in my life found out my secret. “Yeah, well, he’s had sex with the guy he’s dancing with, so…”
“Yikes.”
“Yeah.”
“I’m sorry.”
I was sorry too. “Thank you. I couldn’t have said it out loud, and I’m… Fuck, it makes me feel weak, but I’ve been scared to death of people finding out, yet you made it okay. I need someone, ya know?”
“Oh, Anson.” Mia’s hold on me tightened. I closed my eyes, held her, savored the feel of someone in my life knowing and it being okay.
When I opened my eyes again, West was gone.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Weston
I had officially lost my damn mind.
Anson was gay. He wasn’t attracted to women. He loved me. I trusted him.
Still, it’d felt as if my insides were slowly melting away as I’d watched him dance with Mia. As I’d watched them talk and move together.
So I’d done what any self-respecting adult man would do. I ran. Well, not really. I left to go pout by myself.
I would be lucky if someone didn’t call the cops on me as I sat in the shadows outside Anson’s house. It was dark, and he lived at the end of the street. Plus, there was the fence around the house, one I still had the code for and used, so it was unlikely anyone would see me, but as I sat there, I wondered if this was how it would always be…until he walked away.
Headlights glowed in the distance, and I watched as they got closer and closer, the movement eventually turning into the driveway. The gate opened, but I continued to sit there in the dark. I only stood and stepped out of my hiding place when Anson reached the porch and I was sure it was him. His bow tie was still fastened neatly, while I’d taken mine off and unbuttoned the top buttons on my shirt. I held my bag in my hand. “Hey.”
Anson stood there for a moment, seconds ticked by, and then, without replying, he pushed me against the door, my body pressed tightly between him and the wood, just before his mouth slammed down on mine.
It was a bruising kiss, a punishing, possessive one. I returned it, dropping my bag and grabbing him, my hands on his ass, up his back, and back down to his ass again as I jerked him closer to me. Anson growled and rutted his already hard cock against me as he took my mouth like it was his last meal, like it was the last time he would have me and he wanted my taste and the feel of my body imprinted on him.