How could I be thinking of another man, when I had Jasper?
Dimitri ended his act and handed out the glasses, to applause from me and Rosie, his captive, slightly swooning audience.
‘Will you sit down, Sarah?’ he asked in a courtly manner, indicating a space beside him and Rosie on the big couch at the back of the room.
‘Better not,’ I said, thinking of my poor bum.
Dimitri raised an eyebrow at Rosie and smirked in a knowing manner.
‘Actually, I just need to have a word with Jasper.’
Trix seemed to hear me, and stood up. She complimented Dimitri on the quality of his mixing and went over to join him.
Jasper made a show of putting lots of extra cushions in the space beside him and drew me down gently to his side. I still winced, and I don’t think anyone missed it.
It was a relief to see his face, as vivid with love and care as ever.
‘You’re still talking to me then?’ I said in an undertone.
‘Of course,’ he said. ‘Why wouldn’t I be?’
‘Oh, well, you know. I thought …’
‘You thought I might sulk to put pressure on you? No. Because sulking and pressurising are unattractive and childish ways to behave,’ he said.
He was the right one. I knew it. He knew I knew it. I wanted to say it.
But Trix spoke first, raising her glass towards us.
‘I think somebody found my little film quite inspiring this afternoon,’ she said.
Jasper smiled self-deprecatingly, looking down at his knees. I tried to think of a place to put my hot face and found nowhere immediately convenient.
‘What did you use? Do you mind my asking? I mean, we’re all birds of a feather here, aren’t we?’ Trix looked around for approval and found it in an enthusiastic nod from Dimitri.
‘You did better than us,’ said Rosie. ‘We made it as far as the bedroom and passed out for the afternoon.’
‘But the night is young,’ said Dimitri with a wicked smile, pinching her hip so that she squealed.
‘Why don’t you tell everyone, Sarah?’ invited Jasper.
‘I … oh, no, you do it.’
‘Are you embarrassed? She’s embarrassed,’ he said to the room, sliding an arm around my waist and patting my hip with his open palm. ‘And very sore, poor baby.’
Jasper was going to talk about it. I couldn’t stop him. I felt like collapsing in upon myself, folding myself into a tiny square with my face hidden deep inside. But I would have to face this. After all, when it came to the filming … oh, God.
‘Oh, the embarrassment’s half the fun,’ said Trix with an encouraging smile. ‘I suppose this is all new to you, having your kink brought up in conversation like this? But we’re all like-minded, darling. Don’t think anyone’s going to throw up their hands in disgust. We’re more likely to be jealous.’ She laughed.
‘Six strokes of the cane,’ said Jasper.
‘Lovely. What sort of cane?’ There was no end to Trix’s curiosity, it seemed.
‘Rattan, medium thickness, traditional crook-handled.’
‘Have you tried those Lexan numbers?’ piped up Rosie. ‘Mal and O lent us one of theirs the other week. Sweet Jesus. Never again.’
Even Rosie was blasé about discussing the trials and tribulations of her arse in public? Well. I was surprised, but somewhat encouraged to hear it.