“That kind of intelligence comes with a price. He’s been taught social skills. He was raised to be a perfect gentleman, but when it comes to relating to real, live human beings on any kind of intimate level, he really hasn’t ever had much practice at that. He worked to build his company for years. When he turned twenty-five and had his trust fund at his disposal
, he could have easily used that to live on for the rest of his life. He chose only to use enough of it to expand his company and the rest of what you see was all Alex’s hard work. Throughout all of that he didn’t have time to date or maybe it was a shy thing, but either way, he just didn’t. I wasn’t surprised when the announcement came that he and Cassandra were engaged. I honestly think he married Cassandra just because he’s known her since he was a kid and it was easy. He lost his mind for a while when she left because he’d been too busy in school to sow his wild oats before he met her. I could tell though that even that didn’t make him happy.
What I am trying to say is what happened between you and him… he didn’t know how to handle that. That’s why he turned to his attorneys. They only have an interest in his money. It’s their job and they do it well. He even took Cassandra back, based on their recommendations. It’s obvious when you see them together that it’s not where they belong. He was miserable when she first came back but then suddenly you were back and he was designing a room for your baby. He’s happier doing that than I’ve ever seen him. I would be willing to bet that he has no idea how to express any of that to you.”
“He hasn’t shared much with me on a strictly personal level, no. He does seem excited about the nursery and hiring a nanny. I really appreciate his help.”
“He is excited. He’s excited about the baby. He’s not just doing this to help. He’s wanted one for a long time. I can see the yearning in his eyes when he looks at other people’s children. Now you’re giving him one of his own.”
“You know it’s his?” I had a feeling that she did, but I hadn’t told her so I wasn’t sure.
She nodded. “Alexander shared it with me in confidence. You don’t have to worry. I won’t tell anyone.”
“I’m not worried,” I told her. “Just surprised.”
“He’s going through a lot and he doesn’t have many people he can trust to talk to. I’m hoping that by telling you all of this about him you’ll keep it in mind and not get too discouraged while he’s trying to figure all of this out. Keep in mind that he’ll have to deal with Cassandra and then stave off the lawyers and then there would be his parents.” Karen obviously thought I expected him to marry me or at least be in some kind of relationship with me.
“Oh Karen, I’m not thinking along those lines. I know Alex has commitments. I wouldn’t expect him to give any of that up for me. We’re not anywhere near there.”
“He should be expected to change his priorities. He’s going to be a father,” she said. Karen was old school and I didn’t doubt it pained her that I put myself in the position of becoming pregnant without being married. She wasn’t being judgmental about it though and I appreciated that. “He needs to make some changes. If not for you, then for the child you share, and I think he would even be willing to. I think the nursery is proof that he’s considering it, but he’s going to have to do battle with a few people before that can happen. I just wanted to make you aware. It’s scary to gamble with your future. But, I think if you’re willing to wait for him Vicki, he wants exactly what you can offer him.”
I didn’t know what to say to that. She was in a long-winded kind of way, telling me that Alex has feelings for me and the baby and that eventually he will be ready to tell all of the people who are pulling the strings in his life that we are what he wants. I hope she’s right. I won’t let myself get too attached to the fantasy, but I definitely have one. In it, Alex and I are together and raising our child together, the way it should be. The way I think it should be anyways. The way I’d really, really like it to be.
“Thank you, Karen.”
“You’re welcome. I’m so glad you haven’t given up on him yet. It had to have been hard over the past few months.”
“It was, but as hard as it is to be looked at as a gold-digger it was harder being away from him.” I couldn’t believe I’d just admitted that out loud to anyone other than Liz.
Karen seemed pleased by it. She gave me a one-arm hug and said, “I’m rooting for you. If it means anything, you would be the last person that I would suspect of gold-digging.”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
ALEXANDER
Having Vicki back in the house, for me changed the entire dynamics of it. I suppose because I hadn’t had to do without her before I hadn’t realized just how much I needed her in my life. I realized how valuable she was while she was gone. She was great at her job, but that wasn’t her only value. As a matter of fact, to me, it was a small part of it. The real value was her smile every morning. It was always so warm and genuine. People smiled at me all the time, but none of those smiles ever gave me the same feeling. While she was gone I went around with an empty, lonely feeling in my chest. And then there was the baby. I really tried not to get myself too excited about it. I tried to be willing to allow Vicki to raise him and not announce or broadcast the fact that he was mine. I know that it won’t truly be fact to anyone else until there is a DNA test, but in my heart somehow I know that he is mine. To my lawyers, that made me naïve.
I’ve tried more than once to tell Cassandra about it. Every time I begin to broach the subject I imagine how angry she’s going to be. Hurt, I could handle. I could profusely apologize and do all that I could to make the hurt go away. But Cassandra wasn’t the type of woman that would get hurt over something like this. She would get angry and she would be out for blood… mine, by way of my bank account. She would also be angry with Victoria and that would be the worst part. She’d be out for her blood too and I couldn’t just stand by and watch that happen. So, in order to stave off the drama, I just haven’t told her… yet.
“Alex!” Speaking of Cassandra…
“I’m in here!” I called to her. I was in the nursery. It was coming along beautifully.
She stepped up behind me in the room I was having made into a nursery. I heard her snort. We’d already had words about this and she didn’t know yet that he was mine. “This is a ridiculous expenditure,” she said.
“You’ve already voiced that opinion, Cassandra, but thank you. I can afford it.”
“Who does this, Alex? Who makes a nursery in their home that they don’t need for the maid’s child? If I didn’t know any better I would think she was your mistress.”
I turned to look at her. Each time I did lately and I saw the hatefulness that was set in the lines around her eyes and her mouth, I wondered what I’d ever seen there in the first place. “What makes you think she’s not?” I asked her.
She looked at me suspiciously for a few seconds and then she said, “Even you wouldn’t stoop low enough to sleep with the help.”
I let it go for now. She was going to focus on Vicki being the help. It was going to make me angry. I tried another tactic, guilt. “In my defense, I did believe at one time that I would need this. You let me believe that.”
It didn’t hit the mark. She wasn’t going to feel guilty about it. I’m not sure if she even possessed such an emotion. “Let’s not beat that old dead horse again, Alex. What time does our plane leave?”
“At four.” I had a meeting with an important client in Belize. Cassandra, of course, insisted on coming along and making it a “vacation.” I am planning on using the time in paradise to let her know about the baby. It had to be done. I didn’t want to do it here. Maybe she’d calm down before we got back.
“I don’t understand why we couldn’t have left earlier. You’ve wasted this entire day on this ridiculous project of yours when we could be lying on a beach by now.”
“I’m not going to Belize to lie on a beach. I’m going to work.”
“Of course you are. That’s all you know how to do. I’m going to lie on the beach… all day, every day.”
“We’re only staying until Friday.” It was Wednesday now. I didn’t want to be gone too long.
“Are you kidding? A day and a half in Belize? You’re crazy. I won’t have time to do anything. I want to go shopping and have dinner in that little restaurant we
found last time, right on the beach. A day and a half? What kind of a vacation is that?”
“It’s not a vacation,” I said again. “It’s work, Cassie.”
“Fine. Then when you wrap up your business we can stay an extra week and that can be the vacation.”
She was on a permanent vacation. She could actually go anywhere she wanted to by herself. For some reason, she wanted me on her arm. Maybe I was the trophy and not her. “I don’t have a week to waste sitting on a beach in Belize, Cassandra. I run a corporation. I have to work. If you want to have money to go on a vacation ever you’ll understand that. We have plenty of beaches around here if you want to sit on one.”
She snorted. “Right, I’ll sit next to a couple of tattooed teenagers making out or a fat, middle-aged woman chasing her dirty little brats around down at your favorite hangout. Jesus Alex, you’re a billionaire. Act like it.” She was such an incredibly obnoxious snob that sometimes I could hardly stand it.